What’s your coaching approach? Are you working on anothers performance, or is it more developmental focused? Here’s how to give that conversation structure…
Let’s just get straight into this….We're going to explore the GROW model. It’s a coaching tool created by Sir John Whitmore. There’s loads of stuff about him on Google and he’s also written a book “coaching for performance” if you’re interested. I’m introducing you to the GROW model simply because it’s not only widely used in the corporate world, it’s simple and easy to use too. Which mean you’ll be able to get practicing with it super quick – of course there’s countless other models available, just do a little research and if GROW doesn’t do it for you - find one that does. I’ll talk through the model, explain how best to apply it, then I'll set up some ideas so you can practice…
The GROW Model…
Here it is then - the GROW model. What’s it stand for? GOAL, REALITY, OPTIONS and WILL….the first thing to remember is, it’s only a model, it's a guide, it’s something to have in the back of your mind to provide structure to your coaching conversation. The reason I say that is because, while it’s vital you start by understanding what somebody's goal is, their objective, what it is they want to achieve - the next stage of your coaching conversation is totally up for grabs.
What I mean by that, is…it's not linear…You don't necessarily have to go straight from GOAL to REALITY to OPTIONS and then on to WILL. If you wish you can go from goal, straight to OPTIONS, which would sound like…”So what resources are available to you?” or “Who could you tap into that would be of support to you? Alternatively of course, you could go from GOAL to REALITY, which would sound like “so give me some context…what’s actually happening right now?” Then move onto OPTIONS “what specifically have you tried?” ….and then back to REALITY again “So how did that approach impact upon X?” Or you could even go straight from GOAL to WILL…
Now this is actually a really important one, so I’ll delve a little deeper. As coach when you’re exploring a goal with somebody there's an expectation clearly that the coachee actually WANTS to make changes, they’re committed to exploring ways to achieve whatever goal it is they’re keen to accomplish. What I’m about to share is not only a great way to identify motivation, it serves to build even greater motivation. Plus it helps you the coach, get a feel as to how much the coachee is actually invested in wanting to make changes - as in, is it REALLY something they want to achieve?
Invoking motivation through questioning…
This is what you do. You go straight from GOAL to WILL. Now “WILL” as part of the GROW model relates to two distinct areas - the WILL as in “what will you do next? - So the actions the coachee will commit to. But it ALSO falls into the camp of “What's your WILL to do this? “Why is this important to you?” “Why is this a must for you?” From the coach's perspective, identifying how motivated the coachee is to want to make a change is key. Here’s why. If you asked somebody what their goal is, and they reply….”I need to get better at getting to work on time” and you ask, “why is this important to you?” And they turn around and say, “well, it's not really that important I can work from home if I want to!” Then its reasonable to question why the hell they’ve chosen this as their goal? Where's the motivation?
So it's a great place to start - going straight from GOAL to WILL and asking…”why is this important to you?” It has the potential to save you a ton of time working with someone who’s got zero desire to make any form of change - and if that’s the case, that's fine, call it out. “I'm not sensing this is a MUST for you?”- Do you really want to work on this? Or do you want to work on something else?” Now of course challenging the coachee like this, what you’re really hoping for is a “oh my god YES this is super important to me!” In which case as coach build on this by asking more questions, the purpose here being to invoke even greater motivation. So this would sound like. ”Tell me more - “how do you achieving this benefitting you then?……but don’t stop there because you can continue to build motivation by asking follow up questions like “assuming you achieve this goal, who else will this positively impact?….Hopefully you can see how asking questions like this gets the coachee fired up to actually make changes - and at this stage you haven’t even begun exploring what actions they can take.
How to practice using the GROW model…
Give it a practice. Here's what I recommend you do…Google “grow model questions,” you'll find hundreds there. Now I'm NOT encouraging you to list a whole load of questions that you’ll be asking one after the other. What I’m suggesting is you create what I call a comfort blanket, so that when you’re practicing, should you run out of questions or don't really know what question to ask next, you'll have three or four really powerful questions you can just glance at and use. It’s just a little backup to help build confidence.
So this is what you’ll need to do - find two other people, one person who’s up to be coached, the other happy to be an observer. Have the observer be time-keeper. You’ll have 7 mins to coach your coachee. Have the observer set the timer for 6 mins. Why’s this? Because at 6 mins the observer will remind you there’s 1 min left. Regardless of where you’re at in your coaching conversation, for this final minute, switch gears and focus on what the coachee will do? What actions they’ll commit to? What will schedule? Who will they approach? This will prevent the session from being just a pleasant “ chat” and turn it into something productive.
Go start your practice coaching session. Use GROW and don’t forget those questions you created as backup. When the 7 minutes is up and you're done, spend time gaining feedback - What went well and what could be done differently next time? Just to reassure you - Typically when I deliver this session as part of face to face training, it's after the third practice session that the conversation becomes slicker, so if it feels somewhat clunky to begin with, don't worry, 100% it'll get easier.
Common “watch-outs” when coaching…
Having coached and delivered coaching training for years and years, there’s a number of common challenges that crop-up over and over. Here’s five to be mindful of. In fact there’s a strong chance you may have experienced some these as part of that practice session.
First up, when you establish a goal with somebody, if the goal they share seems huge….Then call it out! For example, if your coachee says “my goal is to work on my time management” well that’s massive….What specifically? Getting to work on time? Going to bed on time? Scheduling their diary? Putting their kids to bed on time? Not gaming till 3am everyday?…Which is it? I cannot express strongly enough….If the goal seems massive, say so, and challenge the coachee to break it into smaller more manageable chunks.
Second, and I covered this earlier. The grow model isn't prescriptive. You can ask questions in any order you like. A really powerful approach you can take when asking about OPTIONS, is this - Ask the SAME question over and over “What else could you do?” and after they reply ask again “What else could you do?” and then again after they reply. “What else could you do? Now this does come with a giant health warning!! You're going to need to sense the tone and read the body language – If your coachee gets frustrated then it's probably not wise to keep asking the same question over and over. That said, it's a powerful approach to take when you get the chance. Why’s that? Because by asking the same question over and over, you’re forcing your coachee to go to a new depth of thinking. Often when being coached it’s easy to just respond with what's foremost on your mind, this approach challenges the coachee to dig a little deeper each time. Obviously, take this approach SLOWLY give your coachee time to think and digest, BEFORE asking again “What else could you do?” Remember it’s a coaching session not an interrogation!!! Asking the same question over and over is a methodology lifted from therapy, and when done right, has the potential to support the coachee to find solutions for themselves that contain real opportunity for change….This leads nicely onto the third area to be mindful of. Listening.
Now, I know you created your own comfort blanket of questions earlier, and that’s a helpful thing to do especially when you're new to coaching. Moving forward however the skill you really need to work on is your ability to genuinely listen. This includes make notes and asking questions to gain greater clarity. Over time, through practice you’ll find this will aid your ability to formulate appropriate questions and in turn improve upon the quality of your coaching interactions. One of the key things to be really mindful of when you’re practicing your next coaching session is to treat silence from your coachee as a positive sign - seriously!! There’s a really strong chance it means you’ve just asked a realy powerful question – your challenge….DON’T fill the void. It genuinely doesn't matter how long the silence goes on for. assuming you’ve rapport and the coachee is invested in personal chang, It likely means the coachee is really having to think. So whatever you do - AVOID interrupting – Your coachee will thank you.
Fourth on our list is questions linked to the process of making changes. If you start early on exploring what somebody is “going to do” before you've established their motivation to do it, it can elicit frustration along the lines of “Well, if I knew what I needed to do, I'd of already be doing it” So it's advisable where you can to focus on the, “why is this important to you” before you move on to the “What is it you can do?” That said. One thing to be mindful of, and you’ve just practiced it…remember the importance of switching gears at some point in your coaching interaction and push the coachee to make commitments regarding next steps – what’s that going to look like? Who will they be meeting? What will they diarise? What specifically is It that they're actually going to do off the back of this coaching session? – Otherwise it’s just a pleasant chat between two people with zero output….Plus it provides a measure for the next coaching session.
And one final point to think about before your next practice session. How to get the coachee to think in terms of solutions rather than problems. What you’ll sometimes find, is you’ll get a response to questions along the lines of “I don't know” or “I just can't think of anything right now” These types of replies have the potential to be conversation killers and for those new to coaching it be a struggle to know how to get past this, without getting drawn into exploring further why someone “can’t do” this or that. Well once again we can borrow from the world of therapy and apply a technique that works wonders. However you’ll be unsurprised to learn, that once again, this once again come with a giant health warning, use the following with caution. What I’m about to share is incredibly powerful, in the wrong hands though, it DOES have the potential to irritate the hell out of people! So what is it and how does it work? The approach here is to literally flip what’s being said to you - So imagine for a moment your coachee was to say “I just don’t know”….You’d respond with, “I totally understand. If I was in your position I’d probably feel the same way. I'm intrigued though. If you DID know, what would need to change? Another example: Lets imagine the coachee said “I can't think of anything right now”. Your response would sound like…”I understand. Sometimes coming up with new ideas can be tough. If you COULD think of something right now, what might it be?” It’s simply an artful way to assist people to refocus on what they CAN do rather than what they CAN’T. “I don’t want to” - “If you did want to?” “I’m not happy” “If you were happy?” “I can’t see how anything is possible” “If you could see how things would be possible?” As I say, it does need to be used with caution, that said it’s a technique that ca work wonders and if you’re concerned people will see right through it! Think again, you’ll be surprised how that isn’t the case most of the time. It does take a little practice to make it sound natural. I’d suggest you practice with family and friends outside of the coaching environment and have some fun with it first.
Keep practicing…
Take time out, go try these new approaches. Clearly with practice it’ll ALL become MUCH easier. Just one final thing before we wrap up. Remember within the workspace, typically there's two forms of coaching – performance related - so task focused, linked to goals and objectives and developmental coaching, which is more learning focused, perhaps someone wants one day to become a manager, which requires some personal development, new ways of thinking, and the over-coming of limiting beliefs. Whatever form of coaching you’re going to be doing, everything I’ve covered here, forms the core principles. That's not to say you aren't going to need to adapt your approach to suit the environment you find yourself in, but in following the steps outlined you’ll 100% be heading in the right direction.
It’s a vital leadership skill I’m thrilled you’ve begun your coaching journey. Next up managing change. See you in the next blog..